Being bisexual can sometimes feel like you’re living in a world full of misconceptions. From the outside, it might seem like we’ve got it easy, that we can “choose” whether to date men or women, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. People often misunderstand bisexuality in ways that are frustrating and sometimes hurtful, and as a bisexual person myself, I’ve faced a lot of the same myths over the years. So, let’s break them down—because it’s time to set the record straight.
Myth 1: Bisexuality is Just a Phase
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this one. “Oh, you’re just going through a phase,” they say, as if I’m going to wake up one day and decide that my attraction to both men and women is somehow just a temporary thing.
The truth is, bisexuality isn’t a phase—it’s a valid and authentic identity. Just like any other sexual orientation, it’s part of who I am. It’s not something I “grew out of” or “grew into.” I’ve always been attracted to both men and women, and the idea that it’s something you “get over” is harmful. Bisexuality is just as real and as permanent as any other sexual orientation.
Myth 2: Bisexual People Are Just Confused
Here’s another one I’ve heard a lot: “You’re just confused. You haven’t decided if you’re gay or straight yet.” The thing is, no one would say that to a gay or straight person—so why is it okay to say it to someone who’s bisexual?
Bisexuality isn’t about confusion; it’s about the reality that I am attracted to more than one gender. That doesn’t mean I’m indecisive or still figuring things out—it means that my attraction is fluid, and I don’t need to choose between men or women because I can love and be attracted to both. Bisexuality is just another way of being, and it’s no more confusing than any other sexual orientation.
Myth 3: Bisexual People Are Just Looking for Attention
This is one of the more hurtful myths, because it implies that bisexuality isn’t real—it’s just some attention-seeking behavior. As if I’m playing some kind of game or looking to be “edgy.”
Let me be clear: I didn’t choose to be bisexual for attention, and I didn’t choose it at all. It’s who I am, just like being gay or straight is who others are. When someone claims that bisexuality is just about seeking attention, it trivializes our identities and makes it harder to be taken seriously in both straight and LGBTQ+ spaces. Bisexuality is part of my reality—not a performance for others.
Myth 4: Bisexual People Can’t Be in Committed Relationships
A common misconception is that bisexual people are inherently less capable of being in monogamous, committed relationships. People seem to think that because we’re attracted to more than one gender, we’ll always be looking for someone else or that we’re “more likely to cheat.”
This myth hurts because it assumes that bisexuality equals promiscuity or instability in relationships, which is simply not true. Just like anyone else, bisexual people can and do form strong, committed partnerships. My capacity to love and commit to someone isn’t defined by their gender—it’s defined by who they are as a person. Whether I’m with a man or a woman, it’s about the emotional connection, trust, and commitment. My sexuality doesn’t make me any less capable of loving and being faithful.
Myth 5: Bisexuality Is Just an Excuse to Be “Gay But Not Really”
There’s this assumption that bisexual people are just “gay but afraid to come out.” The idea is that being bisexual is somehow a stepping stone to coming out as fully gay, or that we’re just in denial about being gay.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Bisexuality isn’t a halfway point—it’s a valid sexual orientation in its own right. Being bisexual doesn’t mean I’m secretly gay or that I’m going to “eventually” realize that I’m gay. It just means that I can be attracted to more than one gender, and that’s a complete and whole identity in itself. My bisexuality isn’t something I need to “move past” to finally get to the “real” version of my sexuality. This is the real version.
Myth 6: Bisexuality Means You’re Just Looking for the Best of Both Worlds
I’ve often heard the assumption that bisexual people are just trying to have the best of both worlds, as if we’re just hedging our bets and trying to have it all. This myth implies that we’re not serious about our relationships or that we’re somehow “greedy” for wanting to experience attraction to more than one gender.
The truth is, my attraction isn’t about “having it all.” I’m not out here trying to juggle multiple partners or to avoid choosing a side. Bisexuality is just part of who I am, and I don’t feel like I have to pick between men or women in my relationships. It’s not about getting the “best of both worlds” — it’s about being true to myself and honoring my own feelings.
Myth 7: Bisexual People Are More Likely to “Switch Teams”
This is a myth that often comes from straight people, but it’s also something that gay people have said to me as well. The idea is that because I’m attracted to both genders, I might “flip-flop” between straight and gay based on who I’m dating or what’s happening in my life.
But here’s the truth: being bisexual doesn’t mean I’m indecisive or that my feelings are unstable. It just means that I am capable of feeling attraction to multiple genders. Just like anyone else, my relationships are about who the person is, not their gender. I don’t “switch teams” because I don’t belong to one team to begin with. I am just me, loving who I love.
The Bottom Line
The most important thing to remember is that bisexuality is real. It’s not a phase. It’s not a confused state of mind. It’s not about attention or trying to “have it all.” It’s about being attracted to more than one gender, and that experience is just as valid and meaningful as any other sexuality.
Being bisexual can sometimes feel like we’re in this space between two worlds—often misunderstood by both straight and LGBTQ+ communities. But that’s why it’s so important to break these myths. The more we talk about it, the more we can embrace the beauty of bisexuality in all its forms.
At the end of the day, we all deserve the same thing: acceptance, understanding, and the freedom to love who we love without judgment. And that’s a truth that applies to everyone, no matter what their sexuality is.
